The Moment

I was a delusional guy, smiling at every disaster happening in front of my eyes. I had started ruling my own little world in my thoughts, and nobody around me could see it at all. I acted just as stupid as always before, and I was no less problematic than before. I was useful too, at times, even to others. So I was pretty much the same as years back. I chose to reflect all this belief of something unknown to others as well, and I tied a bright blue bandanna around my forehead, never to be taken off in public. When I put it on for the first time, I wasn't all that sure what it meant.

During the time passing, weeks, months, I noticed ...nothing. Days went on ahead, thoughts didn't change much. I wasn't alarmed, my mind was too lazy to be alarmed of that. I created very little, sometimes wanted to create more, but I didn't feel a need. As hard as it is even for me to believe, my mind was preparing something. Something so important that it required all my energy. This could be a wrong guess too. At the time I worked so much during all my free moments as well, perhaps my mind could have figured this all out in a day or less, should I have given it one free day.

Just like that - one thought came across my mind. My name... I hated being one of the masses. I didn't mind being alike some others in some places, but the people around me should know I am not like them. Why would I be called with a name that must be among the ten most common guy's first names in the country. I started whispering to myself at nights.. Kyuu... what a cute name for a guy who wasn't so cute. I figured it would be hard for people who knew Kyuu, to distinguish me, the creator, and Kyuu, the creation. A minor problem, I told myself.

More thoughts - why had I created Kyuu, I asked myself. Why at that moment, why in that way. Why would my mind spend so much more time on him now. Why did I want him to come forward more. Why did I want to see artists draw him in more ways. For a long time, I had enjoyed one nice picture of him, and ten thousand others in my mind. Even if you made me imagine only the ones where he wore clothing, that still left a thousand or so.

Only at the very time of writing this, I understood it all fully. All the thoughts that came to my mind. One of the thoughts told me to write, perhaps for that reason alone.

So why Kyuu?