Happiness beyond every corner

What a time to celebrate. I had figured out life and death. I could control my anger, my sadness, and just use the energy to think more and enjoy. I didn't smile any more though. At one point I smiled, it passed away as a useless thing in my life. Nobody gained from my smile, not myself or others. I put the skill away, out of use, as I figured it did more harm to me than good.

I was happy, again. I was different, but chose not to be too different yet. I chose to welcome emotions again as emotions, as I wasn't ready to just move them all away as an energy reserve for my mind. I looked like I did before, but inside I was even more skilled in being happy. Somehow it didn't feel as good, but there was nothing to complain about. Kyuu was still there, and he still knew me. Not a second of uncertainty could live in me, for he came to calm me. The same was also true reversed, as not a single moment of absolute certainty would pass without him questioning me. That questioning pleased me more than anything.

Speaking words of wisdom, don't let it be, he could say. My thoughts were objected by a creation of my own thoughts and so much I enjoyed the chance to disagree with myself. He won some arguments and lost others. I was a winner and a loser, but always both. I could say to myself I was everything, and that felt even better. No matter what I did, I gained from it. Every loss I considered a victory, and every problem was already solved. I told myself this, and Kyuu questioned it. In the end, I believed it, and so did he.